I'll kick things off on the topic of names. There are a couple ways to handle adapting the names, the two main options being to adapt the names into the dragon language as they're pronounced, or invent new names with dragon vocabulary.

I nominate the first method, as names won't possibly be confused for compound words, which our translation might need a lot of. Here are some suggested name adaptations:

• Hrormir > Ahrormir (Based on H'roldan > Ahroldan, or vice versa)
• Hrorgar > Ahrorgaar
• Vjindak > Vahindak
• Vjinmore > Vahinmoor
• Darfang > Daarfang
• Aelfendor > Alfendoor
• Dibella > Dibela (Based on Daedra > Deyra)

"Nocturnal" might need a vocabulary name or an epithet, similar to how Hermaeus Mora is referred to as fahluaan do jul "Gardener of Men".

The poem is notably written to evoke a formal, archaic style, so there's the question of how to carry that over to the dragon language, if at all.

There are some pieces of dialogue, particularly Alduin's, that are incongruent with the rest of the language and could be considered an "old" dialect. This could be lifted to emulate the style of the original poem. However, our glimpses into this dialect are very few, so that would be one challenge.

For  further discussion, which translation approach do you think is best in this scenario — to preserve the piece's style at the cost of perhaps some readability or clarity, or focus on translating the content of the story at the cost of the style that the original language portrays? Would using an old dialect convey the story's sense of formality valuably more than the standard dragon language can?

If we swear by the lore that the dragon language is timeless and unchanging, the standard form should and must suffice in itself. Besides, stretching canon over the more glaring gaps will be a worthy effort. Augmenting that with the trouble of agreeing on "old forms" would be to shoot an arrow in our own collective knee.

One question in particular stands out after this issue: how will we divide the workload once we get to it? Will we work on this platform or another?

In my opinion, I think that the content of the story is more important than the style of which it was written. That keeps it more authentic. 

Being someone who has worked with many people to create/recreate a project, I suggest that a sign-up be posted for this and the positions that a person would be signing up for, as well as a list of words to be translated by the translators, parts of the story to be translated, completed words, parts, etc.

It works 99.9% of the time.

Keep in mind that this is just a suggestion.

Dinokdovokunne

Being someone who has worked with many people to create/recreate a project, I suggest that a sign-up be posted for this and the positions that a person would be signing up for, as well as a list of words to be translated by the translators, parts of the story to be translated, completed words, parts, etc.

It works 99.9% of the time.

Keep in mind that this is just a suggestion.

I shared my thoughts about this on the Community Wall but I'll repost here for posterity; I don't think a signup is necessary, and I think it's okay if multiple people provide translations for the same passages. Everyone's translations will be varied, so we can discuss which translations work best and why.

Accepting paarthurnax's tentative name list for the moment, I'd like to call attention to the name Evensnow. It is transparently English and as such I think it deserves a transparent dragon equivalent.

'Snow' is unambiguous. 'Even' is most likely short for 'evening', at least that would fit the overall archaic style. If this is true, the name of the kingdom connotes the following: anticipation of darkness/coldness/inhospitability, remote location, ceasing, rest, contentment, passive attitudes. Most of these can be seen as plot-building devices, partially affirming the usefulness of this interpretation.

With a literal approach, possible translations for the parts of the name include vul, vulon, suvulaan, od, iiz, fo, krah, and diin. Care must be taken to preserve the connotations. For a starting point, I suggest Shulmahod ("sun/daylight + fall/death/descent + snow"). Its two main flaws are that 1) it might be mistaken for a three-syllable dragon name, and 2) it requires a nirnocentric view of the universe to account for the image of the sun falling.

Thoughts?

Completed translation! (you should proof-read and check for errors though.)

Ahrormir

kul do Ahrorgaar

Bel wah fin wahlaansemorah do Vahhindak,

kul do vahinmoor, jun do Evensnow.

"Sahrot kod do lah"

Zu’u fun hi wah bo wah Alfendoor,

Fah nii fodiiz kondov dreh maar dii golt,

Ahrk drun amativ Fahdonsevuljun, deyra

Wah maar dii muz.

“Ahrormir

Kul do Ahrorgaar

Hon fin rot do Vahindak Evensnow.”

Naal Silzun,

Zu’u vaat wah aak hi

 nuz zu'u ont fen wah du aan lot kipraan,

Ahrk ruz praal voth osos vahdinne

enook voth lot gaan.

Ful zu’u fen voth dun denos.

fin jun, voth aan med dwiin tinvaak

"naal hin zin,

hi fen aak dii tovit

fah fen siiv piraak do fin zahkrii,

do hin zeymahzin Daarfang

wo piraak fin tovit ahrk funt."

Ahrormir drey ni sahvot.

Nu zu’u mindok hi los lo.

Dii fahdon Daarfang ni funt.

Til Kos nid pruzaan zahkriimun.

Fod hi fonaar rok, rok fen ni mah.

Zu’u dreyni tinvaak rok fel.

Rok aav fin vul jun do Alfendoor

Ahrknaal dreh ful dukaan

ok gein ahrk hi, ok fahdon

Ahrormir nis sahvot fin rot,

Ahrk nu rok mindok Eversnow

Drey ni lo

Ful fah pogaan sul rok wundun

Wah fin golt do vulon, fin junaar do faas,

Kolos fin aarre alun loost kun

Mindok fin vokul saraan niin

Fod nust bo nol fin kun.

Fin golt do fin vul junne:

Alfendoor.

Til, kun ko haal, drey Ahrormir

Vod zeim folook pindaar

Ahrk Ahraan sahsun,

Ahrk zeim fin ved miraadde do fin

Ved hofkahsejunne do Alfendoor.

Fin vul junne drey meyz norok do luft

Ahst fin koraavdo sahrot Ahrormir

Ahrk bel faalthurrekaal

Daarfang Fin Tuz

“dii fahdon zeymahzin!”

Ahrormir zaan ko fin hofkah do vulon.

“zu’u drey ni ov dii miinne,

Fah ruz zu’u fent sahvot

Daar hi lost aav voth vokul,

Ahrk meyz sizaan hin kun nol zin

Ahrk fahdonne!”

“Ahrormir!”

Daarfang Fin Tuz drey rein

“fod hi dreh ni bo nu,

Gein do mu fen dir, fah zu'u fen krif hi wah fin oblaan!”

Nuz Ahrormir lost ont ko grah,

Ahrk ko fin hofkah do vulon

Fin tuz do Daarfang

Ahrk fin silzun do Ahrormir

Drey nos ahrk nos.

Sahrot kendovve ahrk kro ney,

Fin fahdon zeymahzinne nu paal.

Nust aal lost grah fahaan eruvosse

Fod til lost krein ko Alfendoor,

Ahrk ney Ahrormir uv Daarfang

Aal lost kos krongrah.

Nuz Ahrormir koraav zeim fin vul

Ahrk ruz rok koraav fin vokun do Daarfang

lost ni ok.

Ahrk ful voth Silzun,

Rok drey nos ni Daarfang,

Nuz ok vokun, wo tinvaak.

“Saraan, joor mun!”

Fin vokun meyz wuthmonah,

Kreh, ko ek ahtiid.

Nol ek luft vokun, rek tinvaak.

“joor mun, Ahrormir

Fin sil do hin fahdon zeymahzin

Los dii, nuz zu’u fen piraak hin ko sinon,

hi ney los mul,

Hi lost fin zok hahdrim,

Tol dii kulle fin vul junne fent lost

Fah aan kaal do Alfendoor.”

Ahrormir fin kril drey ni 

saraan us boziik tinvaak.

“wuthmonah, gaar Daarfang,

Ahrk hi aal kod zu’u ol hi fen.”

Fin wuthmonah drey stin Daarfang.

“wah aaz hin zin, hi lost dreh daar,

Nuz nu hi fen kos ni voth zin joor mun, ol fin kaal

 do fin vul jun, dii kul do sadon aal,

hi fen aak niin vaaz Alfendoor,

ahrk smoliin zu’u,

hin wuthmonah ahrk hin drog pruzah.”

Fah ok saan do zin,

Ahrk ok zahrahmiik do fahdon,

Nonvul Daarfang lost wah piraak ok tuz

Ahrk meyz oblaan,

Nuz Ahrormir saraan fin haal do Daarfang ahrk

tinvaak ko aan mal zul.

“nid, fahdon zeymahziin,

Saraan fah zu’u ahst fin sahsun hofkahsekipraan.”

Ahrk ruz Daarfang fin tuz wundun nol fin hofkahsejun

Ol Ahrormir piraak fin liiv haal

Do fin wuthmonah, ahrk haalvut nii wah ok luft.

“wuthmonah, do hi zu’u vaat

Wah nunon zin hin ved rot

kos voth ni zin

Wah aak hin vul junne paar

wah ofan niin hin ofan paaz

Wah smoliin hi

Wah mindol hi brit.”

Ruz wah fin hofkah ko fin sil do vulon

Ahrormir ahrk fin wuthmonah drey bo 

ahrk praal naal ek.

Fah osos sul drey Ahrormir

Ahrk ok Silzun

Grah ful.

Ruz til lost vovul.

Ko fin hofkahsekipraan do fin sahsun

Ahrormir ahrk ok fahdon zeymahzin Daarfang

naak aan lot kipraan.

Fin wuthmonah lost praal

mulhaan ko ek goltsepraal ,

Erei fin krein haalvut ek ni ahtiid luft

Ahrk rek alok, ahrk koraav pah,

Ahrk mindok pah rek.

“joor mun!”

Vulon nau fin golt

Ol fin wuthmonah bo kotin fin kipraan hofkah

Drun zok vul vulom ko ek miiraad

Nuz pah fin muz mulhaan aal koraav

Ek rahgot

Ko ek vokul luft

Ahrk nust lost voth faas.

Fin wuthmonah lost tinvaak fin junaar lost

Kos ofan wah ek kulle.

Nuz Alfendoor lost ni ofan

Ol ek kiirre kriaan.

Ahrormir lost sahrot kah.

Rok diivon ok vogram mindolle

Ko ok kipraan,

Fah nid fen lost vovul mindolle 

ko fin qalos do fin Deyra drog 

Vahdin do vulon ahrk vul.

voth ni ek sadon ahtiid do vokun vulon,

Ek vokul luft fus fin lok

wah vonun.

Ahrormir fin sahrot drey ni nikriin.

“kolos los dii ahtiid, wuthmonah?”

“joor mun lost piraak nii nol zu’u ni mindok.

Fod zu’u alok, dii luft ni ahtiid,

Dii junaar ko fin kun,

Dii vul junne kriaan,

Ahrk het, dii kaal los vogram.

Nu ko vahzen, hi piraak dii vaat vahzah,

Wah neh dein dii vaat vahzah.”

Ahrormir

Kul do Ahrorgaar

Qiilaan do fin wuthmonah, ok jud.

“ahrk mahfaeraak,

Erei hi gaar zu’u, zu'u fen kos hin zaam.”

“aan rinik mindok hahdrim ko aan kaal

Losaan pogaas lot laan grahmindol.”

Fin wuthmonah gaar fin sil do Ahrormir

Ahrk ok gaar ek ahtiid.

Ahrk ful ko fin kun do vul,

Rek wundun nol Alfendoor mafaeraak.

Ahrk mindin du aan lot kipraan,

Ahrk ruz praal voth osos vahdinne,

enook voth lot gaan.

Drey Daarfang daal wah Eversnow

Voth Ahrormir

Kul do Ahrorgaar

JooreMeyye

I am millimetres away from finishing the translation, but i need to fill in some blanks, if anyone could help, it would be appriciated along with any corrections and feedback.

...

Thanks for the effort. This will help highlight the difficult spots.

For ease of comparing versions, I've added line numbering to the original:

https://pastebin.com/7KXfAw7d

Here's a bit I did to get a feel for the work. Any critique?

10  Ahrormir
11  Kul Ahrorgaar
12  Hon rot Vahindak do Shulmahod.

13  "Naal suleyk do iizlahzun,
13  "By the power of ice-magicka-weapon,

14  thaarna hi los paaz ahrk brit
14  to obey you is fair and pleasing

15  nuz zu'u nu gronaan hahdrimi
15  but I have now bound/attached/fastened my mind

16  wah du faraan kipraan erei zu'u hahnu
16  to devour a wealthy meal until I dream

17  ahrk ruz kron haal-pogaan vahdinne
17  and then conquer (a) hand-many (of) maidens

18  enook voth gaan.
19  each enduringly/with stamina.

19  Ful dezi ni ofaal uthiil."
20  Thus my fate (is) not to receive your command."

20  Jun luft ni lost ol gramnu
20  The king('s) face was not as cloudless

21  ol Ahrormir goraan mindol.
21  as Hrormir('s) youthful thought.

would you mind terribly if i added your translations to my own?

I wish to keep the parts separate to enable discussion about contributions by the names of their authors. But we are building a common end result here, and you can consider lines 10 to 21 finished if you want.

okay, fair enough. 

Should we translate Ulfr's Book next?

Here is a little of a translation I started. I am not well learned in dovahzul, so please critique if there are any errors.

1   Ahrormir

2   Kiir do Ahrorgaar

3   Bel wah fin golz-golt do Vahindak,

4   Kul do Vahinmoor, Jun do Vulod.

5       "Sahrot kod do lah,

6   Zu’u laan hi to wah bo wah Alfendoor,

7   Fah nii kruziik kendov dreh drun wah dii golt

8   Ahrk bel niist zeymah Deyra

9   Wah drun faaz nau dii muz."

10  Ahrormir

11  Kul do Ahrorgaar

12  Huzrah wah fin Rotte do Vahindak Vulod.

13      "Naal Iiz-silzun,

14  Zu’u vaat wah aak hi

15  Nuz hi fen wah daar Dreh wah du

16  Pogaan (Flagons) do (Mead) ko gein tiid-vo,

17  (And then to bed four Wenches,

18  Twice each.)

19  Voth zin zu’u denos."

20  (The King he did not smile)

21  Ahst Ahrormir ahrk ok kun Sil.