Dating sucks. I remember when I was married and saw couples out on first dates, I used to think, "Thank God I'm married and don't have to deal with dating anymore." Famous last words.
Now I'm newly divorced and back in the dating pool, which is actually more like a cesspool. Like many modern daters, I decided to give a few dating apps a try. I wanted to see what the dating world is like these days and what types of men are on these apps.
What I have discovered is that people don't know how to date anymore! Even with technological advances that should make the process less painful, people don't know how to communicate or present themselves in a way that makes dating, especially via apps, appealing. A lot of men turn women away (and vice versa) just by what's on their dating profile. It takes less than five seconds for a person to decide if they want to explore somebody's profile further. But the profiles I'm seeing make me want to throw in the towel, not spend time looking for love.
I thought it would be helpful to share the most common things I have noticed that automatically turn me off from swiping right on a guy. (Other than those who are ethically non-monogamous, in an open marriage or just want to f*ck whichever women are willing.)
For those men who do get the honor of matching with me, there are other ways they sabotage the potential of getting to meet me in person. I touch on these dating faux pas near the end, which is fitting, because they are actually what ends a possible connection.
So fellas, listen up. If you aren't getting matches, or your matches aren't leading to dates, it could be because you're doing - or not doing - these things.
Having Photos Wearing Sunglasses
Sunglasses are hot. For sure. But you know what else is hot? Your face, sans sunglasses. If I can't see your eyes or get a good idea of what you look like, I'm not going to swipe right.
It's fine to have one picture of you sporting those cool shades, but if all your photos are covering your eyes, offering too much mystery, we clearly aren't (and won't be) seeing eye-to-eye. Physical attraction is important, and you might be missing out on a great match because you aren't showing your true self.
Having Photos With No Smile
It's fine if you want to post a few pictures looking dreamy and sultry. But also show me your smile! It's probably really cute, and I'd love to check out your teeth. Teeth are actually one physical feature that can really turn me on or off. I love a great set (and some not-so-great sets) of pearly whites!
I want to see the way you would smile after I make you laugh, so I know what I have to look forward to. It's also more likely that I'll imagine what kissing you is like, and that's not a bad thing at all.
Having Group Photos
If you want to post one photo of you with your friends, cool. But if I have to look through every photo and try to figure out which guy you are, I'm not going to waste time doing that. Automatic left swipe, dude.
And you want to know why it's also a bad idea to post group photos? This one might hurt, but it's the honest truth...I might see the photo and find your friend(s) more attractive than you. You have a much better shot at getting a swipe in the right direction if you're the only guy in the photo.
