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A community for the dragon language of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Thuum.org

A community for the dragon language of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Why Aren't You A God?

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volzah zol
December 18, 2015

If you're anything like me, you know how important receiving tons of praise and accolades for your accomplishments can be to helping inflate one's ego. So it occurs to me, why aren't you a god? 

From the start of your experiences in Skyrim, you can do the impossible. Things normal people can't, and even surpass masters who have studied for decades with ease. You touch nearly everyone you come into contact with in some way (probably inappropriately), either for good or bad. It takes you less than a year to go from an unknown prisoner running for your life from Helgen, to Harbinger of the Companions, Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Arch Mage of the College of Winterhold, General in either the Emperial Legion  or Stormcloak Rebelion, Thane of every hold (except Winterhold because they suck anyway), Champion of Daedric Princes and collector of their artifacts, sit in the Hall of Valor sharing wine and tales with the Heroes of Sovngarde, Thu'um Master, and then the rather unimportant business of saving all of freaking Nirn from imminent destruction.... and what do you get? Another fetch quest to find someone's lost moon amulet, or deliver a blue mountain flower to some weird old lady. 

You walked in the footsteps of Talos, and surpassed him. You entered the realm of the dead and returned. While the region is torn apart with civil war, the High King murdered, the Emperor assassinated, no one, not one bloody person in all of Skyrim, thinks 'maybe' it might be a good idea to offer the Dragonborn a shot at ruling? Not even jarl, eh? Thane. You get thane. Here's a lovely token of our appreciation from our armory, even though you can obvioulsy smith up something infinitely better, and a personal housecarl, who by the way is rubbish at doing anything other than setting off pressure plate traps and walking straight into trip wires. Awesome. 

by volzah zol
December 18, 2015

If you're anything like me, you know how important receiving tons of praise and accolades for your accomplishments can be to helping inflate one's ego. So it occurs to me, why aren't you a god? 

From the start of your experiences in Skyrim, you can do the impossible. Things normal people can't, and even surpass masters who have studied for decades with ease. You touch nearly everyone you come into contact with in some way (probably inappropriately), either for good or bad. It takes you less than a year to go from an unknown prisoner running for your life from Helgen, to Harbinger of the Companions, Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Arch Mage of the College of Winterhold, General in either the Emperial Legion  or Stormcloak Rebelion, Thane of every hold (except Winterhold because they suck anyway), Champion of Daedric Princes and collector of their artifacts, sit in the Hall of Valor sharing wine and tales with the Heroes of Sovngarde, Thu'um Master, and then the rather unimportant business of saving all of freaking Nirn from imminent destruction.... and what do you get? Another fetch quest to find someone's lost moon amulet, or deliver a blue mountain flower to some weird old lady. 

You walked in the footsteps of Talos, and surpassed him. You entered the realm of the dead and returned. While the region is torn apart with civil war, the High King murdered, the Emperor assassinated, no one, not one bloody person in all of Skyrim, thinks 'maybe' it might be a good idea to offer the Dragonborn a shot at ruling? Not even jarl, eh? Thane. You get thane. Here's a lovely token of our appreciation from our armory, even though you can obvioulsy smith up something infinitely better, and a personal housecarl, who by the way is rubbish at doing anything other than setting off pressure plate traps and walking straight into trip wires. Awesome. 


YolGoraagKaazah
December 18, 2015

Actually, as stated in ESO, the Dragonborn is the rightful Emperor. So, he is treated with respect but not as much, say Akatosh. Even if the Dovahkiin was a God, he would be waaaaay weak.

by YolGoraagKaazah
December 18, 2015

Actually, as stated in ESO, the Dragonborn is the rightful Emperor. So, he is treated with respect but not as much, say Akatosh. Even if the Dovahkiin was a God, he would be waaaaay weak.


Emperor of Man
December 18, 2015
volzah zol

If you're anything like me, you know how important receiving tons of praise and accolades for your accomplishments can be to helping inflate one's ego. So it occurs to me, why aren't you a god? 

From the start of your experiences in Skyrim, you can do the impossible. Things normal people can't, and even surpass masters who have studied for decades with ease. You touch nearly everyone you come into contact with in some way (probably inappropriately), either for good or bad. It takes you less than a year to go from an unknown prisoner running for your life from Helgen, to Harbinger of the Companions, Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Arch Mage of the College of Winterhold, General in either the Emperial Legion  or Stormcloak Rebelion, Thane of every hold (except Winterhold because they suck anyway), Champion of Daedric Princes and collector of their artifacts, sit in the Hall of Valor sharing wine and tales with the Heroes of Sovngarde, Thu'um Master, and then the rather unimportant business of saving all of freaking Nirn from imminent destruction.... and what do you get? Another fetch quest to find someone's lost moon amulet, or deliver a blue mountain flower to some weird old lady. 

You walked in the footsteps of Talos, and surpassed him. You entered the realm of the dead and returned. While the region is torn apart with civil war, the High King murdered, the Emperor assassinated, no one, not one bloody person in all of Skyrim, thinks 'maybe' it might be a good idea to offer the Dragonborn a shot at ruling? Not even jarl, eh? Thane. You get thane. Here's a lovely token of our appreciation from our armory, even though you can obvioulsy smith up something infinitely better, and a personal housecarl, who by the way is rubbish at doing anything other than setting off pressure plate traps and walking straight into trip wires. Awesome. 

All this stuff doesn't make you a god. And as for you ruling, I think the Jarls wouldn't want to give their title to anyone else.

by Emperor of Man
December 18, 2015
volzah zol

If you're anything like me, you know how important receiving tons of praise and accolades for your accomplishments can be to helping inflate one's ego. So it occurs to me, why aren't you a god? 

From the start of your experiences in Skyrim, you can do the impossible. Things normal people can't, and even surpass masters who have studied for decades with ease. You touch nearly everyone you come into contact with in some way (probably inappropriately), either for good or bad. It takes you less than a year to go from an unknown prisoner running for your life from Helgen, to Harbinger of the Companions, Guild Master of the Thieves Guild, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, Arch Mage of the College of Winterhold, General in either the Emperial Legion  or Stormcloak Rebelion, Thane of every hold (except Winterhold because they suck anyway), Champion of Daedric Princes and collector of their artifacts, sit in the Hall of Valor sharing wine and tales with the Heroes of Sovngarde, Thu'um Master, and then the rather unimportant business of saving all of freaking Nirn from imminent destruction.... and what do you get? Another fetch quest to find someone's lost moon amulet, or deliver a blue mountain flower to some weird old lady. 

You walked in the footsteps of Talos, and surpassed him. You entered the realm of the dead and returned. While the region is torn apart with civil war, the High King murdered, the Emperor assassinated, no one, not one bloody person in all of Skyrim, thinks 'maybe' it might be a good idea to offer the Dragonborn a shot at ruling? Not even jarl, eh? Thane. You get thane. Here's a lovely token of our appreciation from our armory, even though you can obvioulsy smith up something infinitely better, and a personal housecarl, who by the way is rubbish at doing anything other than setting off pressure plate traps and walking straight into trip wires. Awesome. 

All this stuff doesn't make you a god. And as for you ruling, I think the Jarls wouldn't want to give their title to anyone else.


volzah zol
December 18, 2015

Yeah, but Talos himself didn't do half the things you do as Dragonborn, and they made him a god, and he started his own era. And Talos was weak, by divine comparison. He had his throat cut and couldn't even shout anymore. The divines themselves aren't exactly pinnacles of strength, considering they became mortal, and can be killed, unlike the Daedra. All I'm saying is that by those comparisons, you should be a god, or considered god-like. You should have begun your own era after the defeat of Alduin, and someone, somewhere should've thought placing you on the high throne was a good idea rather than just using you to either advance their own political career, or sending you off to deliver a sword to some steward. 

Even if the jarls aren't willing to give up their own titles, which is understandable, you'd think after everything you've done for Skyrim, for Nirn, they'd convene a moot to proclaim you High King, and show their support if you decided to conquest for Emperor. Even the Blades are kind of stand-offish toward you unless you do their bidding, rather than the other way around. When you look at the deeds that led historical figures to positions of greatness and power in Tamriel, you've single handedly out done them all. No other person, including other Dragonborn, has accomplished what you have. 

You deserve the people's praise. You deserve their adoration and worship. At the very least, you'd think they could give you a pass on accidently killing a sodding chicken whilst trying to keep the giant dragon from burning down the town. 

Wait, I know you...  

bloody hell...

by volzah zol
December 18, 2015

Yeah, but Talos himself didn't do half the things you do as Dragonborn, and they made him a god, and he started his own era. And Talos was weak, by divine comparison. He had his throat cut and couldn't even shout anymore. The divines themselves aren't exactly pinnacles of strength, considering they became mortal, and can be killed, unlike the Daedra. All I'm saying is that by those comparisons, you should be a god, or considered god-like. You should have begun your own era after the defeat of Alduin, and someone, somewhere should've thought placing you on the high throne was a good idea rather than just using you to either advance their own political career, or sending you off to deliver a sword to some steward. 

Even if the jarls aren't willing to give up their own titles, which is understandable, you'd think after everything you've done for Skyrim, for Nirn, they'd convene a moot to proclaim you High King, and show their support if you decided to conquest for Emperor. Even the Blades are kind of stand-offish toward you unless you do their bidding, rather than the other way around. When you look at the deeds that led historical figures to positions of greatness and power in Tamriel, you've single handedly out done them all. No other person, including other Dragonborn, has accomplished what you have. 

You deserve the people's praise. You deserve their adoration and worship. At the very least, you'd think they could give you a pass on accidently killing a sodding chicken whilst trying to keep the giant dragon from burning down the town. 

Wait, I know you...  

bloody hell...


YolGoraagKaazah
December 18, 2015

Actually, originally in Skyrim, your character was allowed to marry Jarl Elisif the Fair, making you High King. 

by YolGoraagKaazah
December 18, 2015

Actually, originally in Skyrim, your character was allowed to marry Jarl Elisif the Fair, making you High King. 


volzah zol
December 18, 2015
YolGoraagSingh

Actually, originally in Skyrim, your character was allowed to marry Jarl Elisif the Fair, making you High King. 

They must've done away with that before release. I know there are plenty of mods out there to become jarl, high king, god, etc. But I want canon! 

by volzah zol
December 18, 2015
YolGoraagSingh

Actually, originally in Skyrim, your character was allowed to marry Jarl Elisif the Fair, making you High King. 

They must've done away with that before release. I know there are plenty of mods out there to become jarl, high king, god, etc. But I want canon! 


YolGoraagKaazah
December 18, 2015

I think Talos was more than just Dragonborn.

by YolGoraagKaazah
December 18, 2015

I think Talos was more than just Dragonborn.


volzah zol
December 18, 2015

Was he? What did Talos do that was god-like? He united an empire (through brute force), but really that's not anything any other mortal couldn't have done. While I disagree with the Mer and their need to slaughter anyone who worships Talos, I do agree with them when they say he was a false god. He did absolutely not one godly thing. Everything he did was something a normal mortal could've done. Unlike your character in Skyrim. Talos never crossed into the realm of the dead and came back. Talos never dealt with Daedra, and won. Talos could shout, but did Talos ever have to kill a dragon, or absorb it's soul? If Talos had some special ability other than the ability to shout, it's not written anywhere. Really, Talos is less god-like than you are. You should either replace him, or take your place next to him as the Tenth Divine. 

by volzah zol
December 18, 2015

Was he? What did Talos do that was god-like? He united an empire (through brute force), but really that's not anything any other mortal couldn't have done. While I disagree with the Mer and their need to slaughter anyone who worships Talos, I do agree with them when they say he was a false god. He did absolutely not one godly thing. Everything he did was something a normal mortal could've done. Unlike your character in Skyrim. Talos never crossed into the realm of the dead and came back. Talos never dealt with Daedra, and won. Talos could shout, but did Talos ever have to kill a dragon, or absorb it's soul? If Talos had some special ability other than the ability to shout, it's not written anywhere. Really, Talos is less god-like than you are. You should either replace him, or take your place next to him as the Tenth Divine. 


onikmey
December 18, 2015

Calm yourself. The dragonborn does much, but there is much he has yet to do, and much of his strength is carried on the shoulders of others. The dragonborn's strength is that he is involved in nearly everything, but he is not a true master. Becoming arch-mage is an honor and a great achievement, but there is much you can't do. You will never know magic like agar of dunlain, who fused himself with the magical energies around him and sees prophesy, or Malyn Varen who changed the nature of a Daedric artifact. You may become listener but you will never commune with sithis. You may become guild master, but you will never surpass Rajhin, who stole the tatoo off of an empress's neck. You became harbingr, but you will never have the strength of Ysgramor. You may learn the ways of the voice, but you will never surpass the Greybeards. You slayed Alduin, devourer of worlds. For that you are a hero, and when you die- for you will die- you have earned a home in Sovngarde. But you are not nearly so powerful or brave as the heroes of the first dragon war who broke time itself to put alduin away. 

You say that you surpass masters with ease but there are two problems with this- very few things the dragonborn is so involved in is easy. He never sleeps, and he is always practicing. Also you don't surpass masters. You get to the point where they can no longer teach you, but you do not surpass them. For example, you can smith legendary dragonplate armor, but the secrets of skyforge steel are too much for you. You complain about not having any ruling power as a thane, but your actions do not show you fit for rulership. You are the thane of nearly every hold in Skyrim, and yet you seem to show no interest in the internal affairs of its people, as evidenced by what you so rudely call "fetch quests". You also show poor leadership- sending your warriors into traps and complaining about how they are worthless. You compare yourself to Talos, and yet I do not see the comparison. You learn your shouts from the souls of dragons, which can be slain by many things such as guards and giants. Talos learned his shouts the true way- he learned the shouts for himself. When his throat was cut he led his armies with whispers. Talos united an entire continent of diverse people into one cause not only through brute force but also through diplomacy. You fight under more tactical or driven minds of General Tullius or Ulfric Stormcloak to solve the petty dispute of one province. You say that Talos did not do half of the things you do, and you are right there. Such business was handled by his subordinates. 

You are very strong, don't get me wrong. You excell at nearly everything you do. And, were you to correct your poor leadersip, you might make a decent Jarl. And with enough time learning as a Jarl you might make an ok high king. And with enough time dealing with all of the strange people of Tamriel that you look down upon, you may even become an emperor. However, currently you seem to overestimate your own strength and ignore the more powerful around you. You do not seem to notice the population beyond what they can do for you- a sure way to ruin diplomacy. You say that Talos never dealt with Daedra and won, but neither have you- unless you are counting atronachs. You always come out with a powerful artifact and a new master. You compare yourself to the aedra who, although weaker than the daedra, look upon your strength as you look upon the strength of a skeever. I mean no disrespect, but I feel very strongly about this.

by onikmey
December 18, 2015

Calm yourself. The dragonborn does much, but there is much he has yet to do, and much of his strength is carried on the shoulders of others. The dragonborn's strength is that he is involved in nearly everything, but he is not a true master. Becoming arch-mage is an honor and a great achievement, but there is much you can't do. You will never know magic like agar of dunlain, who fused himself with the magical energies around him and sees prophesy, or Malyn Varen who changed the nature of a Daedric artifact. You may become listener but you will never commune with sithis. You may become guild master, but you will never surpass Rajhin, who stole the tatoo off of an empress's neck. You became harbingr, but you will never have the strength of Ysgramor. You may learn the ways of the voice, but you will never surpass the Greybeards. You slayed Alduin, devourer of worlds. For that you are a hero, and when you die- for you will die- you have earned a home in Sovngarde. But you are not nearly so powerful or brave as the heroes of the first dragon war who broke time itself to put alduin away. 

You say that you surpass masters with ease but there are two problems with this- very few things the dragonborn is so involved in is easy. He never sleeps, and he is always practicing. Also you don't surpass masters. You get to the point where they can no longer teach you, but you do not surpass them. For example, you can smith legendary dragonplate armor, but the secrets of skyforge steel are too much for you. You complain about not having any ruling power as a thane, but your actions do not show you fit for rulership. You are the thane of nearly every hold in Skyrim, and yet you seem to show no interest in the internal affairs of its people, as evidenced by what you so rudely call "fetch quests". You also show poor leadership- sending your warriors into traps and complaining about how they are worthless. You compare yourself to Talos, and yet I do not see the comparison. You learn your shouts from the souls of dragons, which can be slain by many things such as guards and giants. Talos learned his shouts the true way- he learned the shouts for himself. When his throat was cut he led his armies with whispers. Talos united an entire continent of diverse people into one cause not only through brute force but also through diplomacy. You fight under more tactical or driven minds of General Tullius or Ulfric Stormcloak to solve the petty dispute of one province. You say that Talos did not do half of the things you do, and you are right there. Such business was handled by his subordinates. 

You are very strong, don't get me wrong. You excell at nearly everything you do. And, were you to correct your poor leadersip, you might make a decent Jarl. And with enough time learning as a Jarl you might make an ok high king. And with enough time dealing with all of the strange people of Tamriel that you look down upon, you may even become an emperor. However, currently you seem to overestimate your own strength and ignore the more powerful around you. You do not seem to notice the population beyond what they can do for you- a sure way to ruin diplomacy. You say that Talos never dealt with Daedra and won, but neither have you- unless you are counting atronachs. You always come out with a powerful artifact and a new master. You compare yourself to the aedra who, although weaker than the daedra, look upon your strength as you look upon the strength of a skeever. I mean no disrespect, but I feel very strongly about this.


volzah zol
December 19, 2015

I think all of you miss the point of satirical writing, but that's ok. Waaay too serious of a room. 

by volzah zol
December 19, 2015

I think all of you miss the point of satirical writing, but that's ok. Waaay too serious of a room. 


onikmey
December 19, 2015
I'd probably catch if I knew you. I know people who actually feel this way though, so... yeah...
by onikmey
December 19, 2015
I'd probably catch if I knew you. I know people who actually feel this way though, so... yeah...

volzah zol
December 19, 2015

It's ok, I guess snarkiness and sarcasm doesn't translate well in print. XD

by volzah zol
December 19, 2015

It's ok, I guess snarkiness and sarcasm doesn't translate well in print. XD


Raxvulnax
December 19, 2015
No it never has....
by Raxvulnax
December 19, 2015
No it never has....

Duryoljot
December 21, 2015

Amen to that Teddy!

The dragonborn only does so much in the CANON timeline. You slay Alduin, end the vampire threat, raise a family, and serve Herma Mora as Miraak's sucessor. The dragonborn goes from being a [email protected] to a daedra's slave. Ouch.

by Duryoljot
December 21, 2015

Amen to that Teddy!

The dragonborn only does so much in the CANON timeline. You slay Alduin, end the vampire threat, raise a family, and serve Herma Mora as Miraak's sucessor. The dragonborn goes from being a [email protected] to a daedra's slave. Ouch.


YolGoraagKaazah
December 21, 2015

That leads to another question . . . What happens to the Dragonborn after Miraak?

by YolGoraagKaazah
December 21, 2015

That leads to another question . . . What happens to the Dragonborn after Miraak?

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