Hello everyone,

I am new to this community and I started using the translator quite frequently during the last days to find the right dragon words for the fanfiction I am currently working on.

I usually use only single words and short phrases when dragons are talking, in a similar way Paarthurnax is talking to the dovahkiin in the game. My goal is to make it authentic, but not too hard to understand for the reader who is new to the dragon language or doesn‘t understand anything at all. I myself am very new to this.

But now, as the storyline proceeds, my main character is talking to new dragons she has never met and these dragons will primarily, if not exclusively, use dovahzhul when talking, first not expecting her to understand, later to test her knowledge of the dragon language. Now I have to use more complicated sentences and it has become more difficult for me to put words in the right order and to use grammatical structures. I also have trouble with words that have multiple meanings and often feel unsure if I use them in the right context.

So I decided I could ask the community for help. I‘ve translated the phrases already, but I could use some help, especially for rephrasing when words that I would like to use just don‘t exist in the canon word list. So I would be thankful if you shared your opinion on my translations. Note the following: The sentences should be precisely correct when dragons are talking as they are the native users of the language. When the main character Ilana, who is a Nord woman, is talking, it doesn‘t have to be completly correct as long as the meaning is clear.

The sentences are the following:

Dragon: „Lahiil ni fen spaan hi nol bahi“ - Your magic will not save you from my wrath
I used spaan – protect/shield because there is no „save“. Is nol the right translation for „from“ in this case?

Ilana: "Zu'u ni laan krifa! Zu'u los aarsedov, zu'u vaata dov midun. Aaz nau zu'u, drogi!"
I don‘t want to fight - is laan the correct word for want in this case?
I am a servant of the dragons, I have sworn loyalty to the dragons. - can -a be used as a short form of wah when there is no infinitive following but a noun (dov)? Is this the right word order?
Have mercy on me, my lord! - is nau the correct translation for on/towards in this case?

Some time later, Ilana greets the dragon, using the usual drem yol lok. But the dragon, still being furious, doesn‘t respond to the greeting, instead says:

„Nii los ni drem, nust fent ag!“ - There is no peace, they shall burn - can I say nii meaning „it“ instead of „there“ or is there anonther word?

Ilana, trying to calm down the dragon:
"Drogi, zu'u fent tinvaak wah niin. Zu'u unta aak niin. Ovan zu'u osos tiid?"
My lord, I will talk to them. - I tried to say let me talk or allow/permit but there is no word, so I used „will“/fent instead
I will try to guide them (meaning show them the right way of dealing with a dragon)
(Will you) give me some time? (a moment)

The dragon then responds:

"Hi fen tinvaaka niin, aarsedov." - You will talk to them, servant of dragons
- again, is -a the right way to shorten wah in this case?

Please note that my native language is German and although my English is quite fluent, it‘s not perfect.

Please feel free to share your opinion on the translations, I might come back later with more questions!

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My fanfiction is about the origin of the dragon cult, in case you wondered. In my interpretation of the history of the dragon cult, the cult is based on a single Nord woman who spreads her way of understanding the worship of dragons over the whole country. Though being the first „real priestess“ in the way we understand them today, her actual goal is to create peace between humans and dragons. Later on, as more humans join the cult, the new religion gets corrupted by some powerhungry priests and Alduin himself, resulting in the dragon war.

The first sentence seems fine.

In the second i would say "zuu lost vaat midun wah dov" (bear in mind dov means dragon kind and is not simply the plural for dragon which is dovahhe) or if she is already a priest "zuu midun sonaak" would suffice. Nau isnt used that way as far as im aware. Bolaav zuu aaziil drogi (grant me mercy my lord) would make more sense. You may also want to consider using "thuri" (my overlord) instead as this is how superior dragons are referred to in game.

In the third i would just shorten it to "nid drem. Nust fen ag" it has the same meaning with the fewest words (always the goal in dovahzul)

The fourth is  fine but id recommend either cutting osos or using maltiid the canon worr for moment.

The last is also fine.

As far as im aware you using "-a" correctly, but grammar isnt my strong suit. Also, exact precision is impossible with this language in most cases.

PS take everything i say with a grain of salt. Ive been doing this for a few years and i like to think i know what im doing but im by no means our best speaker. If you don't like my suggestions feel free to ignore! :)

Thank you very much for your recommendations. :)

I think I will stay with drogi because in my fanfiction only Alduin himself is adressed as thuri.

I wasn't aware that I can shorten up sentences this much, but it does make sense. I will try this from now on.

I'm currently using the question bord for more translation and grammar questions, so you might find me there from now and then.

I will think about your recommendations and maybe rephrase some sentences. Thanks!