So, any tips or criticism that the site veterans have for a beginning translator would be very cool!

"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood."

--Julle pah los kiin stin ahrk roaal midrak niistmaar ko kah ahrk qaarre. Nust lost dahrin ahrk hahleit ahrk wah gein aanvorey nust fend kosov voth ziisezeymahmaar.--

Well, I'm not exactly a veteran here, nor am I the greatest translator, but I do have some advice:

 You may want to change "ziizeymahmaar" to "zii do zeymahmaar". It isn't necessary, but it makes it easier to both read and say because zeymahmaar is already such a long word. Just a thought. :)

I'm not sure what you mean by "roaal midrak niistmaar". I don't recognize the word "roaal" and I haven't found it in the dictionary. Of course, I could have just missed it. So excluding that, I got "against themselves". I could be wrong, of course. I'm a noob, too. :P

Perhaps, to be more accurate, you could use "nust kosaan geofan... (they have been given...)" instead of "nust lost... (they have...)". If you'd prefer, you could also say "nust los kogaan do... (they have the blessing of...)". But it's up to you. :)

I may have made mistakes, so don't take my word for it. I'd wait to be sure until a real veteran comes along. Pruzah gluus voth hin dojvon!

Aaliizah

Well, I'm not exactly a veteran here, nor am I the greatest translator, but I do have some advice:

 You may want to change "ziizeymahmaar" to "zii do zeymahmaar". It isn't necessary, but it makes it easier to both read and say because zeymahmaar is already such a long word. Just a thought. :)

I'm not sure what you mean by "roaal midrak niistmaar". I don't recognize the word "roaal" and I haven't found it in the dictionary. Of course, I could have just missed it. So excluding that, I got "against themselves". I could be wrong, of course. I'm a noob, too. :P

Perhaps, to be more accurate, you could use "nust kosaan geofan... (they have been given...)" instead of "nust lost... (they have...)". If you'd prefer, you could also say "nust los kogaan do... (they have the blessing of...)". But it's up to you. :)

I may have made mistakes, so don't take my word for it. I'd wait to be sure until a real veteran comes along. Pruzah gluus voth hin dojvon!

 

Thanks! Honestly I was a bit iffy on the "ziisezeymahmaar". I think that separating it out would sound a bit better. As for "roaal midrak niistmaar" was supposed to be "in balance with each other", but I think my brain may have been in Latin which does funny things grammatically with that phrase. 

I'd like to drop in and say that "Roaal" actually would work to mean something close to "balanced/having balance". It isn't in the dictionary but perhaps it should be, or some alteration close to it like "Rohaal" or "Ronaal" since two adjacent vowels are a rare sight.