Kodaavzii, this is your project thread! Feel free to begin work here, whenever you like!

For your conveniance I have pasted the original text here as a referance.

n ancient days, the Deep Elves and a great host of outlanders from the West came to steal the land of the Dunmer. In that time, Nerevar was the great khan and warleader of the House People, but he honored the Ancient Spirits and the Tribal law, and became as one of us.

o, when Nerevar pledged upon his great Ring of the Ancestors, One-Clan-Under-Moon-and-Star, to honor the ways of the Spirits and rights of the Land, all the Tribes joined the House People to fight a great battle at Red Mountain.

hough many Dunmer, Tribesman and Houseman, died at Red Mountain, the Dwemer were defeated and their evilmagicks destroyed, and the outlanders driven from the land. But after this great victory, the power-hungry khans of the Great Houses slew Nerevar in secret, and, setting themselves up as gods, neglected Nerevar's promises to the Tribes.

ut it is said that Nerevar will come again with his ring, and cast down the false gods, and by the power of his ring will make good his promises to the Tribes, to honor the Spirits and drive the outsiders from the land.

You can choose to do it all, or just a section, it's up to you.

Here are a few translation excercises to get you started:

• Our skin is grey, and our eyes are red.
• Long ago we were different, our skin was a golden colour. We were the changed ones.
• The Moon and Star is a sign of the Dunmer Saint Nerevar.

For the name Nerevar, I would suggest transliterating it as best you can.

• Un karaak (los) sadon, ahrk un miin (los) sahqo .
• Lingrah vod mu lost vorpaal, un karaak lost yuvon faain. Mu (lost fin) volbur geinne.
• Fin Iilah ahrk Fil los siin do Vulfahliil Lokzii Nerevar.

I think I will just take it one section at a time; see if I can't learn something new with each section and keep improving each time.

Kodaavzii

• Un karaak (los) sadon, ahrk un miin (los) sahqo .
• Lingrah vod mu lost vorpaal, un karaak lost yuvon faain. Mu (lost fin) volbur geinne.
• Fin Iilah ahrk Fil los siin do Vulfahliil Lokzii Nerevar.

Instead of Volbur, you could use the -ed form, which is Volburaan meaning "changed", and it implies "Lost", it means "were (the) changed". So the sentance would read "Mu Volburaan Geinne."

Since you're speaking about the Dunmer with respect, mentioning about a great hero of theirs I would personally use "Faal Vulfahliil", to demonstrate honour, but it's optional.

Other than that, you did a great job with the translations, but I would look up on the various prefixes and suffixes, they can really help!

All of this is looking great so far!

This is more of a matter of personal prefence, but for sentences like "Un karaak los sadon", you might want to keep "los" in because it's the only verb in the sentence.  That said, written Dovahzul can be very short like that.

"Faal" is going to be used instead of "Fin" for "The Moon and Star", since they are proper nouns.  Just one more thing, I'm note sure "Volbur" is the correct word to use here since it is a noun.  I would recommend "Jafuur", "transform", instead, or to make a new word that means "change".

Good job so far!

If I were to make a new word, would it be acceptable to use "volbur" as a base?

Kodaavzii

If I were to make a new word, would it be acceptable to use "volbur" as a base?

As long as it makes sense, and follows the rules I think it should be ok.

Alright, here it goes. Brace yourselves. Part 1 of 4

Ko kruziik sulle, Molfahliil ahrk aan lot dopaan do tireidin nol Welkand meyz wah gahrut himdah do faal Vulfahliil. Ko tol tiid, Nerevar lost faal lot Jun ahrk Kinboksekein do faal Hofkah Joriin, nuz rok ziin faal Kruziik Ziihe ahrk faal Mu'ulsewuth ahrk paagol ol gein do mii.

So, hopefully that translated fairly well (typos forbid) but I really had a great time with this! Some things I had some questions on, if I may-- some words that I wasn't sure on, or that I changed and wanted to otherwise verify.

"Deep Elves" was not its own term, nor could I think of any similar terms at the time, but I did find "low elves". I don't really think it's correct, and I would like a second thought or two.

"outlanders" I changed to "outsiders"

There is no direct word for "kahn", so I picked "Jun" ("King"), but I could have also used "Mu'uliik" ("Ruler"). I don't want to repeat "Kinbok" in the sentence because of redundancy.

I couldn't really find a proper suffix/prefix to make "come" into "become", but I thought that to say "he walked as one of us" or even "he walked among us" would have the same meaning to it.

Culturally, would a literal "House People" work here, or would it be its own verb (i.e. "Parliment" or "Senate", sort of deal) ?

Also the number of "Faal"s being thrown around in here. They were all attatched to proper nouns, so I wasn't sure if I should have left them in or not.

Other than that, just the two words I stuck together ("Kinboksekein" and "Mu'ulsewuth").

Krosis for the super long post.

Sorry for the delay!

"Deep Elves" can mean both underground, as well as phylosophically deep, i.e. smart as seen here:

that the translation of Dwemer as Deep Elves might also be read as Smart Elves - UESP Lore: Dwemer

So it's up to you how you want to proceed on that front, but personally I would go for smart or intelligent.

Outlanders to Outsiders works nicely, good job!

Khan was a tricky one, but I think you did it best you could. You're right, Mu'uliik would work just as well it's merely a personal choice.

Wow, that's a really nice way of saying that, I'm impressed! It really gives a feel that he joined them, he became one of them.

I think, because it's talking about a group of people, personally, I would leave it a literal translation. It's talking about a literal thing, the House People.

Since this is a (sort of) historical text, the Faal quantity should be okay, and they're all attached to proper nouns. 

And I like Kinboksekein, a literal leader and bringer of war. Good job! Same with Mu'ulsewuth.

Overall, a really nice translation, and I like the use of the more abstract wording!

Alright, so I only had enough time for one section yesterday, but today I somehow managed to get all the others done and I feel fairly confident about them.

Ful, fod Nerevar vaat voknau ok lot prenlonii do faal Meyrre, Gein-Brod-Neben-Iilah-ahrk-Fil, wah zin fin zen do faal Ziihe ahrk Qaarre do Himdah, pah Brodde aav fal Hofkah Joriin wah Krif lot grah ahst Sahqo Strunma.

Pogaan Volfahliil, Brodjuriin ahrk Hofkahjuriin dir ahst Sahqo Strunmah, nuz Molfahliil lost viiz ahrk niist vokulzirrel ald, ahrk dopaan ru auf himdah. Nuz deir daar lot krongrah, suleyk-bahlokus Junne do faal Lot Hofkahhe kriaan Nerevar ko sovan, ahrk,hel niistmar vok ol rah, dreh ni dahmaan haadde Nerevar ofan wah faal Brodde.

Nuz nii los fun Nerevar fen meyz ont zuk voth ok pronlonii, ahrk vaaz mol vovazah rah, ahrk naal faal suleyk do ok prenlonii fen imzik pruzah ok haaddel wah fal Brodde, wah zin faal Ziihe ahrk dah tireidinne nol himdah.

Wee! So, surprisingly, I don't have too many questions this time, despite the number of changes I made. Although, the words "vovazah" and "haaddel" were weird to me, but I think I followed all the rules.

(Also, as a side note, in the dictionary "Brod" means both "clan" and "bread", though "clan" is primary canon.)

Kodaavzii

(Also, as a side note, in the dictionary "Brod" means both "clan" and "bread", though "clan" is primary canon.)

Thanks for catching this, I've changed the word for "bread" from "Brod" to "Brot".

Kodaavzii

Alright, so I only had enough time for one section yesterday, but today I somehow managed to get all the others done and I feel fairly confident about them.

 

Ful, fod Nerevar vaat voknau ok lot prenlonii do faal Meyrre, Gein-Brod-Neben-Iilah-ahrk-Fil, wah zin fin zen do faal Ziihe ahrk Qaarre do Himdah, pah Brodde aav fal Hofkah Joriin wah Krif lot grah ahst Sahqo Strunma.

Pogaan Volfahliil, Brodjuriin ahrk Hofkahjuriin dir ahst Sahqo Strunmah, nuz Molfahliil lost viiz ahrk niist vokulzirrel ald, ahrk dopaan ru auf himdah. Nuz deir daar lot krongrah, suleyk-bahlokus Junne do faal Lot Hofkahhe kriaan Nerevar ko sovan, ahrk,hel niistmar vok ol rah, dreh ni dahmaan haadde Nerevar ofan wah faal Brodde.

Nuz nii los fun Nerevar fen meyz ont zuk voth ok pronlonii, ahrk vaaz mol vovazah rah, ahrk naal faal suleyk do ok prenlonii fen imzik pruzah ok haaddel wah fal Brodde, wah zin faal Ziihe ahrk dah tireidinne nol himdah.

 

Wee! So, surprisingly, I don't have too many questions this time, despite the number of changes I made. Although, the words "vovazah" and "haaddel" were weird to me, but I think I followed all the rules.

(Also, as a side note, in the dictionary "Brod" means both "clan" and "bread", though "clan" is primary canon.)

Gein-Brod-Neben-Iilah-ahrk-Fil looks strange at first, but when it's read, it has a lovely poetic sound to it, very nice.

You made a slight spelling error, "Untrue" should be "Vovahzah". But the rules were followed so it's a viable word, good job!

"Haadde" would be oaths, yes, you're right, but since this would be written text, I think the "his" as a seperate word would look better. "Ok Haadde", His Oaths/Promises (but again, this is my personal opinion, Haaddel would work since it follows the rules but it does sound and look a little cumbersome.

Otherwise, you've done a really good job and I applaude you on your efforts! If you'd like to post a complete and revised version under this post, I'll do something special with it for you!

Ko kruziik sulle, Molfahliil ahrk aan lot dopaan do tireidin nol Welkand meyz wah gahrut himdah do faal Vulfahliil. Ko tol tiid, Nerevar lost faal lot Jun ahrk Kinboksekein do faal Hofkah Joriin, nuz rok ziin faal Kruziik Ziihe ahrk faal Mu'ulsewuth ahrk paagol ol gein do mii.

Ful, fod Nerevar vaat voknau ok lot prenlonii do faal Meyrre, Gein-Brod-Neben-Iilah-ahrk-Fil, wah zin fin zen do faal Ziihe ahrk Qaarre do Himdah, pah Brodde aav fal Hofkah Joriin wah Krif lot grah ahst Sahqo Strunma.

Pogaan Volfahliil, Brodjuriin ahrk Hofkahjuriin dir ahst Sahqo Strunmah, nuz Molfahliil lost viiz ahrk niist vokulzirrel ald, ahrk dopaan ru auf himdah. Nuz deir daar lot krongrah, suleyk-bahlokus Junne do faal Lot Hofkahhe kriaan Nerevar ko sovan, ahrk, hel niistmar vok ol rah, dreh ni dahmaan haadde Nerevar ofan wah faal Brodde.

Nuz nii los fun Nerevar fen meyz ont zuk voth ok pronlonii, ahrk vaaz mol vovahzah rah, ahrk naal faal suleyk do ok prenlonii fen imzik pruzah ok haadde wah faal Brodde, wah zin faal Ziihe ahrk dah tireidinne nol himdah.

Here you go!

Edit: Updated.

Wow, this looks great!

I am so sorry but I do have some spelling errors to point out:

Ko kruziik sulle, Molfahliil ahrk aan lot dopaan do tireidin nol Welkand meyz wah gahrut himdah do faal Vulfahliil. Ko tol tiid, Nerevar lost faal lot Jun ahrk Kinboksekein do faal Hofkah Joriin, nuz rok zin faal Kruziik Ziihe ahrk faal Mu'ulsewuth ahrk paagol ol gein do mii.

Ful, fod Nerevar vaat voknau ok lot prenlonsemeyrre, Gein-Brod-Neben-Iilah-ahrk-Fil, wah zin fin zen do faal Ziihe ahrk Qaarre do Himdah, pah Brodde aav fal Hofkah Joriin wah Krif lot grah ahst Sahqo Strunmah.

Pogaan Volfahliil, Brodjuriin ahrk Hofkahjuriin dir ahst Sahqo Strunmah, nuz Molfahliil lost viiz ahrk niist vokulzirre ald, ahrk dopaan ru auf himdah. Nuz deir daar lot krongrah, suleyk-bahlokus Junne do faal Lot Hofkahhe krii Nerevar ko sovan, ahrk, hel niistmar vok ol rah, dreh ni dahmaan haadde Nerevar ofan wah faal Brodde.

Nuz nii los fun Nerevar fen meyz ont zuk voth ok prenlon, ahrk vaaz mol vovahzah rah, ahrk naal faal suleyk do ok prenlon fen imzik pruzah ok haadde wah fal Brodde, wah zin faal Ziihe ahrk dah tireidinne nol himdah.

Mostly minor stuff.  "Prenlonsemeyrre" is a compound from what you have already, it's not necessary but cleans things up a little.  For the possessive suffixes like "-ii" they literally mean "his/her/its", etc., so you would either say "ok prenlon" or "prenlonii".

Anyways, great job and I would love to feature this on the front page!

paarthurnax

Wow, this looks great!

I am so sorry but I do have some spelling errors to point out:

Ko kruziik sulle, Molfahliil ahrk aan lot dopaan do tireidin nol Welkand meyz wah gahrut himdah do faal Vulfahliil. Ko tol tiid, Nerevar lost faal lot Jun ahrk Kinboksekein do faal Hofkah Joriin, nuz rok zin faal Kruziik Ziihe ahrk faal Mu'ulsewuth ahrk paagol ol gein do mii.

Ful, fod Nerevar vaat voknau ok lot prenlonsemeyrre, Gein-Brod-Neben-Iilah-ahrk-Fil, wah zin fin zen do faal Ziihe ahrk Qaarre do Himdah, pah Brodde aav fal Hofkah Joriin wah Krif lot grah ahst Sahqo Strunmah.

Pogaan Volfahliil, Brodjuriin ahrk Hofkahjuriin dir ahst Sahqo Strunmah, nuz Molfahliil lost viiz ahrk niist vokulzirre ald, ahrk dopaan ru auf himdah. Nuz deir daar lot krongrah, suleyk-bahlokus Junne do faal Lot Hofkahhe krii Nerevar ko sovan, ahrk, hel niistmar vok ol rah, dreh ni dahmaan haadde Nerevar ofan wah faal Brodde.

Nuz nii los fun Nerevar fen meyz ont zuk voth ok prenlon, ahrk vaaz mol vovahzah rah, ahrk naal faal suleyk do ok prenlon fen imzik pruzah ok haadde wah fal Brodde, wah zin faal Ziihe ahrk dah tireidinne nol himdah.

Mostly minor stuff.  "Prenlonsemeyrre" is a compound from what you have already, it's not necessary but cleans things up a little.  For the possessive suffixes like "-ii" they literally mean "his/her/its", etc., so you would either say "ok prenlon" or "prenlonii".

Anyways, great job and I would love to feature this on the front page!

Ah, I didn't pick those up, apologies! Let me just adjust my image.