Greetings,
I was wondering which of the two versions below would be considered more appropriate for a written form of dovahzul. From what I could gather using the Translator and the respective Dictionary Entries I think the first version would be considered formal and only, if at all, used in writing, while the second version would be more speech-adjusted.
Zu'u los faal spaan fah dii fahdonne
Frin wah ofan pah do zu'u fah niin
Kreh ni krent
Ahraan ni viik
Sindugahvon ulse
or:
Zu'u faal spaan fah dii fahdonne
Frin ofan pah fah niin
Kreh ni krent
Ahraan ni viik
Sindugahvon ulse
Here is the translation I want to achieve - where Companions is more in the sense of Friends than in the sense of allies.
I am the Shield for my Companions
Eager to give all (of me) for them
Bent not broken
Wounded not defeated
Unyielding for Eternity
I would be thankful for any suggestions to improve the translations, be it wording or grammar.
Kind Regards,
Anataron
Edit: Also, just for the sake of disclosure - I did post a similar question on the Q&A Board, but wanted to have the chance to discuss it a little more in depth, which isn't the purpose of the Q&A Board .. which is why I posted it here aswell. I do hope that isn't a problem.